Squirting 101 with Lola Jean

Welcome to the Electric rodeo, an adult toy mega store podcast about sex, pleasure, relationships and everything in between. I'm your host, Emma Hewitt, a sex educator and sex toy enthusiast. Every episode, I take a deep dive into a fascinating new topic, talk to experts and answer common sex questions because sex is normal, messy, pleasurable, intimidating and a hell of a lot of fun. Let's take a ride.

“It kind of started as a joke because a scientist that I had worked with had said that the most amount someone could squirt was 950 milliliters. And I was like, yeah, but you know, I feel like I could crush that.”

To squirt or not to squirt. That is the question. And in this episode, I'm talking to someone who has a lot of answers. Lola Jean is a sex educator, a pro domme, a fetish wrestler, and the world record holder for volume squirting. Yes. Squirting. It's not a record you were likely to see in the Guinness book of world records, although she did try, unfortunately, they're a family organization. I'm sure you are all dying to know how that is judged. So don't worry. I ask how it's measured. And of course, what the winning volume was. I also have a lot of questions about square, Inc. What the hell is square? Where does it come from? What does it feel like? Can we all do it? And how do I do it to prepare? I did a survey of adult to mega store customers to get some insight into square, Inc. 48% of respondents said they had squared and of those people, 74% enjoy doing it. 7% of responders don't enjoy it. And 19% feel embarrassed about it. Chatting to Lola Jean. I realize that these distinctions aren't so clear. Cut. Yes, it can be amazing to do, but what if you do it every time, even if you don't want to, what if you can't turn it off? When does squirting it become a fricking nuisance. We dive into all of this, but we start with wrestling, fetishes, domination, and sex coaching. What exactly does sex coaching involve?

Most people are just like, oh, I'm gonna get my hands on you. And you'll teach me things. I'm like, no, you can't touch me. Oh, and <laugh> so a lot of times it's, I'm not gonna be like your therapist. I could work in conjunction with your therapist, but I'm gonna help you. If there's a blockade or a wall or you just need a little bit of a help or a push in the right direction. Cuz I don't wanna see people regularly. I wanna see you as less as possible really. And that's why I provide a lot of like video instruction. But I do offer one-on-one for people that are, you know, they're just a little bit stuck and then you need to push somewhere else.

And you're also a pro domme. So what does that side of things involve?

So in pro domination, generally when people get further into their careers, um, within pro domination, they'll find a certain niche and that tends to be something they both really like. And that they're good at. And I found my niche rather quickly, which is wrestling fetish. So that's where I operate mostly. And then that kind of lends itself really well to verbal domination, trash talk and you know, some other knee fetishes. So this is where people pay me money to wrestle them. And when I say wrestle, I'm mostly using Brazilian jujitsu. Wow. But kind of in abridged version of that. So usually people are trying to resist me, but not overpower me. It's about keeping the bodies very close. That's like the, the strategy of it. So it's something you can inherently make sexual pretty easily. And for some people it's sexual for other people, it's more of a sport. The way I put it is for my clients. Like it can be whatever you want it to me. But for me it has to be a sport. How popular

Is this popular? I've never heard of like a wrestling fetish.

Uh, I mean it is niche, but it was a very high demand on like low supply when I got into it. And for the people, the underground that's into it, they're very into it. Wow. And if you think about it, like I've had clients that are like, oh, I'm so weird for being into this. Right. And it's like, oh, you wanna be overpowered by someone who is believably in physic stronger than you like. Yeah. That's CRA like, no, it's like, that sounds like the most basic thing to be into.

So the sense of control or domination that people are looking for, what drives this need in people,

Do you think?

 I think there's a common thought that it's just like, oh, people that are really busy and work high power jobs in their day to day life. They're the ones who need to be dominated. And you know, while that trope can sometimes be true, I'm a boss in my everyday life. And I like to dominate other people and that can be a release for me as well. There's two things. It can be a release of guilt. And I think that, you know, especially now there is a lot more guilt, but people don't really know how to reconcile with whether that's white guilt, whether that's patriarchal guilt, whether that's, you know, guilt and shame. These are ways that they can confront and release that. And then also our fear and insecurities, a lot of times when people are feeling overwhelmed or like they don't have control over their own lives, it helps to just relinquish that to someone else.

I was actually kind of feeling that today. I was just feeling very overwhelmed and I was like, I just wanna get dicked down. Like, and I never say that <laugh> <laugh>, but like there's sometimes where I'm just like, I want this to happen so I can like, it can be therapeutic for me or, or I had a session the other week where he just wanted to, to feel really scared. And in the middle of that, I was like, oh my God, what an amazing release for you to be able to feel so scared and then so safe at the same time, you can feel safe, to feel scared. And it's really just things that we are not allowed or that we feel we are not allowed to express or act on in our everyday lives. Cuz we can, we really can. But sometimes you might need a little element of like fantasy or a non-reality or just the professionalism of a provider.

So of course you are also currently the world record, holiday it for volume squatting, which is the coolest thing I have ever heard. How did this come about? How is a competition like this judged and what was the winning volume,

Man? I wish I were a competition cuz I am very competitive and I love being, if you haven't been able to tell by like the wrestling fetish in the trash talk, I'm a very competitive person, but it kind of started as a joke because a scientist that I had worked with had said that the most amount someone could squirt was 950 milliliters. And I was like, yeah, but you know, I feel like I could crush that. I'd never measured it, but like I knew the amount of volume I had was ridiculous. So when I looked it up, I realized this record didn't exist. So I applied to Guinness to said it, which like, you know, any, any amount that I squirted would've set back. And they were like, no, we're a family organization. We can't do that. So did some more research. And basically if I had enough witnesses and journalists and I still measured it to get a standard. So within a one minute period using only the assistance of one's person meeting my hands. So no other of people, no toys. And I swore to 1,250 milliliters. So I broke science. So I definitely set the record cause I proved science wrong <laugh> by a lot. Yeah. By 300 milliliters <laugh>

And how is it measured? Like what is the actully like ins and outs of this? So,

Okay. It was a whole event that I created cause I don't do things small. I created a carnival and I actually just had the second iteration of this a couple weeks ago called the CIR squirt where I didn't reset the record, but I did a squirting performance and I squirted so much and I still had more in my body. I was like, I kind of wish I measured it now. Wow. But how we measured it and this took a couple bits of trial and error, but I was kind of like squirting over this kind of rubbery bin. I think that's mainly used to like bathe small mammals. Right. And I squirt it into there. And then we used that to port into a funnel, which then went into the measuring device and watching the two people, my consistent Tiana and then another friend Amy watching them pour this into the funnel was one of the most enjoyable experiences of my life. <laugh> I've, which is ridiculous. Like this is my life, what

That is so, so amazing. So what happens now? Is this something that you're gonna keep on? Like trying like to beat your own record? Is anyone else trying to like snatch the crown off you?

I mean, people are saying that, but no one's doing anything. And I think a lot of people are just like, well I squirt a lot with my partner. I'm like, yeah, but this is on your own. This, you have do it by yourself. And I mean, I welcome. I love competition, but I don't really see a need to reset my own record. Mm-hmm <affirmative> just cuz I mean it's always a little stressful when no there's event that revolves around me squirting like, okay body, you better not let me down. But yeah. I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. I'm just gonna, still keep doing performances because they're very, very fun.

So let's get into some of the basics of sweating for a moment. Cuz I think that there's a real fascination with it, but I don't think that many people actually kind of like know how it works. Like primarily what is square and where does it come from?

Yeah. Well it's something that is, you know, it's not studied very much and when it is studied, there are some laughable controls or you know, have the people squirted before that they're studying. What is it that you are trying to measure? Because if you would've put me in one of those studies like a couple years ago, I probably didn't squirt. But if you put me in this, now we know that that's going to happen. So it's very much a learned thing of the body. I mean very much can happen on its own without learning it. But for a lot of people, you know, surprise, surprise the person with the VVA has a lot to do with it. Mm-hmm <affirmative> but it's not just being like a passive receiver. So squirt is a combination of a lot of fluids. It is my belief. I kind of pull from Dr. Jon and Dr. Laura, me, Dr. Jonna believes it comes from the urethra. Dr. Laura me believes it comes from the skenes glands. I believe it comes from both. I just don't think that like that much fluid is going to be able to come out of my skenes glands. We know that the skenes glands are involved. This is the like the prostate glands of people with vulvas because we find prostate-specific antigen in squirt. And so we know it's coming from there, the skenes glands do drain into the urethra. They're not empty. Right. So that's why a lot of people might feel like they pee after they thought they had to work. Mm okay. As well. I mean, it's gotta come out some way, but I believe it's coming from both of these locations and the skenes glands are like all around the urethra with this like a bunch of erectile tissue. So that is where the fluid comes from. And like I was saying, there's not a lot of studies that are out there. The studies that are like, you know, 10 people, that's not really a study because you know, most of the money goes to Bon pills cuz that's where the money is. No, one's really demanding research on squirting.

Yeah. Female sexuality is always a little bit behind the other stuff. Yeah. So is squirting and ejaculation the same thing.

Technically speaking scientifically ejaculation is more of a like viscous Milky, white substance that, um, like not a lot of, they kind of similar to semen of how much would be produced. Some people produce it. Some people don't where squirting is more of a like clear, larger volume type of fluid, but it can range from small volume to large volume. And that doesn't, that's kind of just dependent on the person that's dependent on the buildup of fluid. However, is a verb and I, and I like to use that and I think it's totally fine to refer to it as such cuz I think it also is kind of subverting a lot of gender norms too. So I'm okay with people calling it. So

Do you think that anyone with a vulva is capable of squirting then and what tips do you have for people that would like to?

I do think that everyone with a VVA is capable of wording, but I also don't think that, you know, if you can't like you're not missing out on that much. There are a lot of great things that you can also do too. In the grand scheme of things. I like to say that cervical orgasms for me are way more enjoyable than squirting. So focusing on the things your body can do, not what it can't, but I believe everyone with a VVA can sport. If they have a good enough relationship with their vulva and a coordinated pelvic floor. And when I say coordinated, I'm not saying strong, I'm saying coordinated because you can have a strong pelvic floor, but then it's, I believe the word is like hypertonic where it's like so contracted that that's dysfunction as well. So it needs to be able to you contract elongate and relax and how to do this.

It's gonna be different for everyone. I take a very hands off approach to squirting because for me, when I first did it, I just tried to replicate that sensation when I was masturbating until I was able to do so. And then it was just a period of experimenting with my body of different things I could manipulate until I understood that feeling really well. And the way I scored is not gonna be the way a lot of other people scored mm-hmm <affirmative>. So instead of focusing on like the movement, everyone's gonna talk about the come hither. I don't really like the come hither that much, but the tips that I will give people is if we're looking at the vagina as a clock, focus on the six o'clock as much as you do the 12 o'clock because the 12 o'clock all that erectile tissue can be very, very sensitive for people and you might need some time off, whereas there is a ton of erectile tissue in the six o'clock and you can also tend to be a little bit more vigorous with that then with the 12 mm-hmm <affirmative> so focus on that one as much, if not more.

And for the person who has the VVA experiment with your pelvic floor in its various states, when you contract that should contract also around your internal CLI. So it should feel good. See how that changes your pleasure. And either when you hear the slush slash or you feel like you gotta get this out of your body, that's when you would elongate while you do something, you really like whatever that is. And also keep in mind that sometimes when there's something blocking your vaginal canal or penetrating you, that can get in the way of a complete like elongation or contraction. So sometimes that needs to rid itself before you can get this stuff outta your body.

And do you recommend like toys? I know that people talk of a lot of the time about sort of like these really firm materials, like glass or metal being right. Massaging that area. Is there a thing? Is that real?

Yeah. I mean, I think it depends on the person, but I do. I mean, I personally find that glass and metal type toys in that area feel a lot better than maybe a silicone mm-hmm <affirmative> as well. And I think with us specifically, there's one called the NJO pure one and that's just specifically dispersate it's designed for you to be lazy. It's designed for you to just be able to like, you know, Seesaw this thing, like it is a video game controller pretty easily <laugh> and that's gonna be good for getting en engagement, cuz you're gonna need a lot of en engagement and arousal to build up that squirt fluid before that's going to eject out of your body mm-hmm <affirmative>. But I would also say that the air pressure toys where a lot of people call them cl suction mm-hmm <affirmative>. I think that those are actually a wonderful way to squirt on your own for the first time, because it's not gonna happen for everyone.

But I like to say that those give your body no chance. Like they are so intense and amazing, but they'll also prove to you one that like, you know, if your body squirts, then you are capable squirting, you just have to figure out how for you. And it also proves that you don't need anything to be penetrating you or directly touching your G-spot in order to score. And really it's just, it's trusting your body and pushing it past what you think it's capable of because it'll surprise. Mine is still surprising me. So yours will surprise you. And if you, no one else needs to know if it does anything embarrassing, unless you decide to tell them <laugh> on a podcast. <laugh>

Yeah. Now you have talked a little bit about what it feels like, but does skirting feel different? Is it more intense or pleasurable?

So squirting and orgasm are two different things for a lot of people when they start doing it, they happen together because squirting feels like a release. And when you're orgasming, that's the ultimate release, right? So it makes sense that they would happen together. However, I think that squirting is a lot easier to achieve than an orgasm and it can happen a lot more frequent and then it can happen with an orgasm as well. So the way I like to liken it and parted me cuz is an American football reference, but I've had people translate it to like rugby and Aussie rolls before, but I like to liken it to field goals and touchdowns. So squirting is field goals, orgasms or touchdowns field goals are easier to get and you can still win the game with field goals. It's all points, but sometimes you just really wanna touchdown and then sometimes you get a touch down and you get to kick the extra point afterwards.

And usually when you're getting a touchdown, usually you're getting an extra point. <laugh> basically, it's something where, you know, it feels like a release. It feels like, like I have a really big itch and then I finally scratch it. Mm-hmm <affirmative> or I have a sneeze that I've had to sneeze for like five minutes. And then I finally sneeze. Like that is what it feels like. And it's very good, but it's also very annoying. Right? And I was having a conversation with someone about this yesterday and they were asking about like, you know what sex is like. I'm like, it's kind of a bother some times. It's like very, it's very frustrating because there's a lot of ways I can mitigate the mess and there's plenty of different solutions. But because for me, this is the way my body expresses pleasure. For some people they might squirt more infrequently for me the way my body expresses pleasure is through squirting. So it happens time. I feel really good, pretty much. Oh wow. Uh, yeah. Which is, which is a lot to manage when I am, you know, thinking about the mess all the time.

So it's not something that you can personally turn off. I was gonna ask whether it's something you can choose to do or whether you can choose not to do it. I

Getting myself to squirt, but it is harder for me to stop myself from squirting. And I get asked that question a lot, cuz everyone who's like just squirted is so excited. And I'm like, talk to me in two years, talk to me in two years and let me see how jaded you are and how much this sucks. Cuz a lot of people, I get messages of how do I make this stop? And you know, the best example I can give them is, is there anything that's distracting? Like maybe if you're doing something with anal play, then you know, it kind of distracts your body or something overwhelming like intense vibration or, you know, sometimes I work with like my partners to of like, you know, keeping something penetrated inside of me, no matter how hard my vagina's like pushing that out to prevent the squirt from coming out. So, but there's not as much control I would have say over choosing to squirt.

And how do your partners react to it? Are they into it?

Well, that's something that I need to talk to people about before they become partners, essentially, because I have had my fair share of good and bad reactions and you know, my bad reactions. It's not just the people that shame it, but it's the people that fetishize it as well. Yeah. And I realize that ultimately I just want someone to match my relationship with squirting, which is sometimes I love it and sometimes I hate it and they need to view it as that's my body's way of expressing pleasure. And they also need to allow me to hate it as well. It's something that's difficult where I get frustration of like, oh, I really, really don't wanna spurt today. But that's what my body is doing. Or even if like, you know, some, sometimes my body doesn't squirt and they're like, are you okay? I'm like, yeah, like that felt great.

It just doesn't. I, I don't know what's going sometimes when I like over exhaust myself, my body doesn't squirt cuz I think all the re sources are going elsewhere. Mm-hmm <affirmative> it really depends on the person, but I try to stay away from the fetishists. I try to stay away from people who are trying to get me to educate them or people who shame me. So I choose that specifically. I was teaching at an event and someone asked me, they're like, what's the fastest way to get you to squirt. And I was like, ask me to do it myself. <laugh>

So you did talk about fetishism of squirting. And I think there is a real like societal kind of obsession with this topic at the moment. Do you think that's accurate and why do you think that is?

Well? So squirting is a physical manifestation of pleasure and where previously, you know, a Volvo orgasm was like this mystic thing that you didn't know happened or not. And you have no proof, but squirting, we have proof of, and it looks like the ultimate orgasm for a lot of people. And I think that similar to, you know, an orgasm for people with Volvos, squirting has become more about the like CIS head male ego than it is about the person actually having the time. And I see that with a lot of people who are trying to squirt, it's like, they're trying to squirt for someone else, not for themselves. Cuz someone else thinks it's hot and you know, that can be a reason to maybe get into something, but it makes my heart hurt a little bit. Some people just really like messy, messy sex and it could be sweat. It could be spit like people who like messes. Like I get that and understand it. But I think for a lot of people it's ego. It's like I made this thing happen when you know, you did it together, it was their body, their body did the thing. And you assisted with it. You were there, you were part of the pro.

Do you think that porn has had any impact on it?

I think it's had impact on our awareness of it because you know, if we didn't see it in porn, like unless it happened in our personal lives, like we wouldn't know it existed. I remember when I first heard about squirting or gushing, I was actually, I was in Australia cause I was study abroad there for like a year. And some people were like, oh, this person's a gusher. And they were saying it like, it's a bad thing to be. And then we watched this video and I was like, I don't have no idea what any of this is. And you know, fast forward to like maybe five years later when I did squirt for the first time and was like aware of it it's cuz someone told me me, like I wouldn't have known otherwise. I was just having a good time. <laugh>.

And do you think that that puts pressure on people with a VVA to be able to do it as well, knowing that there is a bit of an obsession with it and we are seeing it more and hearing about it more?

Absolutely. I quote Michael Fuko a lot who is a French philosopher and specifically his study and desire he asks like, why do we see ourselves as objects of desire and not agents of pleasure? And I see that as the plight of women mostly, and I think this is another mm-hmm <affirmative>, you know, carnival trick for people to be able to do of like, okay, well how can I be the most attractive partner for my person instead of how can I and joy myself and how can I feel comfortable? And I mean, I know that when I started squirting, I clung to that because that was like an attractive thing that I had for people that made them feel good because I was a hard to orgasm person and I had so many boundaries and I didn't wanna do these types of kink that like, you know, a so-called attractive submissive woman or partner would want to do.

And on the other hand, I think there's still people that feel shame for doing it as well. So for spreading in front of a partner or might have a partner that you know, free or is like not super into it, what advice do you have for those people?

I think this is true for anything that people shame you of, whether it is your body, the way you look, the things you're into the way your body expresses yourself, cuz that's what's happening. Your body's expressing yourself and it's a body. They do cool things. They do gross things. They do weird things all the time. Understand that when someone shames you that reflects more about them than you, they are projecting onto you. We need to stop using the word normal as well. It's just like things are for people and they're not for other people. We don't need to shame people of that. We don't need to say this is weird. It's just not for us.

Lola, there are a lot of people with vs who also struggle to orgasm. And I think that that brings its own shame along with it. Can you talk a bit about your early struggles to orgasm and whether this still impacts you now?

Yeah, so honestly, like I still have trouble orgasming with partners. I can orgasms by myself for easily. And I think like that's gonna be true of a lot of people. Like, you know, a lot of people in Volvos can and they can orgasm in like a couple of minutes, but when it comes to doing so with partners, sometimes it's a struggle and sometimes it's depending on which way the wind's blowing mm-hmm <affirmative> it's depending on the menstrual cycle, it's depending on a lot of things and you know, it not something where, oh, I found this fix and now I can orgasm better and easier. It's really just divorcing myself from this knee that I have to orgasm for it to be a good time. It should be that my pleasure is focused. I would like someone to perform oral on me. I might not necessarily have an orgasm from that, but I can have a really good time.

And especially because, you know, I squirt so much, sometimes I can have a really good time squirting. Sometimes I might win an orgasm, but it's more about discovering different things. I took a fisting class where, I mean like I didn't get fisted, but I wasn't sitting in the class listening. And I was like, oh my God, I wanna be vaginally fisted. What if that was my thing? What if, if I knew that and then it was like, every time I'm vaginally fisted, then I can, or like, and I think it's just that curiosity. Mm-hmm <affirmative> but it's, you know, the thing is that the pressure is still there. It still feels like you're a more attractive partner if you can orgasm easier. But again, that's just about the other person's ego as well. Mm-hmm <affirmative>

I love that you took a fist in class. That's so much fun. I great. It was great. Was that in person? This is just me being nosy now. Oh, online.

No, I mean, I'm sure she does it in person too. It's Andre Shockty but she did it online for us. It was part of a series called seven days of domination and yeah, we had her teach that class. It was so good.

Ah, amazing. I don't wanna end on a shame note. So do you have any extra tips or tricks or just any advice for people that you want to get across? Hmm. Well,

As far as squirting, I do have classes. I have a lecture and then I have almost like a guided masturbation. You can take on my website, Lolo jean.com. If you want to learn more, but really never stop exploring and trying different things. You can be goal oriented. You can like, these are things I wanna try. That would be cool. Mm-hmm <affirmative> but then don't tie that to your happiness if it happens or not. And the same thing extends to your partner as well, but it's been really great talking to all these different people who squirt. And it really seems like that there hasn't been a resource for us to like talk together like, oh, I wish someone would've told me this before. So I am working to create like a free forum where people can just discuss and I can have these people who have been squirting for like 10 years, answer questions and talk about things

That will be amazing. Well, thank you so much, Lola, for your time. That has been a really, really interesting conversation and I'm looking forward to going home and applying all those tips.

All right. And report back.

 I Will. <laugh>

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